Halloween: Celebrate or Dread, Connect or Disconnect, Judge or Embrace

By: Jola Cruise

As Halloween approaches, many families look forward to the excitement the holiday brings, especially for children. For my husband and me, it has become a significant event in our family calendar, one that not only allows us to create joyous memories with our children but also serves as an opportunity to strengthen our marriage through shared family traditions.

Having grown up in Poland, where Halloween is traditionally a more somber and respectful holiday focused on remembering the deceased, the American way of celebrating Halloween initially came as a cultural shock to me. The transition from a day of reflection to one of vibrant costumes and spirited candy collecting was significant, and it took some time for me to adjust and embrace the festive nature of Halloween in the U.S.

Initially, like many couples, we faced differing opinions on how to manage the holiday's festivities, particularly when it came to the sensitive topic of candy distribution. I was quite conservative about the amount of candy our children should have, while my husband was more lenient, believing that Halloween was a time for the kids to indulge a little more than usual. These opposing viewpoints could easily have led to conflict, but instead, they became a catalyst for a deeper understanding and compromise.

Over the years, we've learned to find common ground, balancing health concerns with the festive spirit of Halloween. This compromise reflects a broader theme in our marriage: the importance of respecting each other's perspectives and finding ways to meet in the middle. It's about giving a little and taking a little, which ultimately strengthens our relationship and our family unit.

Halloween has also become more than just a night for trick-or-treating; it's a season for us to engage as a family unit. We (the parents) make it a point to dress up as well, turning costume selection into a fun, collaborative family activity. This shared enthusiasm is contagious, and it enriches our family's experience of the holiday.

The value of having both parents actively involved and respecting each other’s views cannot be overstated. It offers our children a model of teamwork and mutual respect. They see firsthand how differences can be negotiated and how collaboration rather than conflict leads to more enjoyable and fulfilling experiences.

In embracing these holiday traditions together, we do not just celebrate a festive occasion; we reinforce the foundations of our family. It's a reminder that even something as simple as deciding how much candy is too much can reflect the deeper values of understanding, compromise and togetherness.

So, as we approach this Halloween, it's not just about the sweets or the costumes but about coming together, embracing each other's ideas, and celebrating as a united family. This approach not only makes the holiday more special but also fortifies our relationship, ensuring that each Halloween is not just fun but meaningful


If you are interested in relationship coaching, please contact Jola:

Email: hello@jolacruisecoaching.com

Complimentary Love Breakthrough Session: www.callwithjola.com

Jola's outfit by 
www.eurockk.com

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