Thanksgiving Reflection Beyond Tradition
By: Jola Cruise
Growing up in Poland, Thanksgiving was as foreign to me as the concept of the New World itself. After relocating to the U.S., I didn't embrace Thanksgiving for its historical roots but rather as a profound celebration of gratitude—a practice that has deeply transformed my relationships and my life.
As a relationship coach, I've learned just how transformative gratitude can be. Initially, openly expressing gratitude was unfamiliar to me; back home, it was assumed that loved ones knew they were cherished without constant verbal affirmations. However, everything shifted when I attended a life-changing workshop at Mariners Church. There, I learned the importance of explicitly stating my thanks for everything from the comfort of my home to the safety of my neighborhood not only to others but also to myself.
The journey continued as I joined a coaching program that ended up saving my marriage. One of the first exercises? You guessed it—gratitude! I was tasked with listing ten things I appreciated about my husband. Trust me, when you're not in a great place in your marriage, scraping together ten gratitudes isn't exactly a walk in the park.
I managed it, though! The next challenge? Deliver three gratitudes a day to my husband. Transitioning from zero to three felt nearly impossible, but I'm not one to back down from a challenge.
It was a rocky start, but today, my husband would tell you I'm one of the most grateful people he knows—and I'd say the same about him. You could say that developing a mutual gratitude was pivotal in saving our marriage.
Now, making gratitude a daily habit is a cornerstone of both my personal and professional growth. Each morning, I reflect on three things I’m thankful for, which enhances my appreciation for life and helps me reframe challenges as opportunities for growth. Here are a few ways I've shifted my perspective from negative to one with the prism of self-gratitude:
From Regretting Past Choices to Valuing Growth: I used to beat myself up over our marital struggles due to my lack of knowledge on maintaining harmony. Now, I view those challenging years as invaluable—they led me to my life’s work of saving marriages and taught us resilience. Considering that here in beautiful Orange County the divorce rate hovers around 72%, the fact that we made it through happily is nothing short of amazing, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
From Flaws to Unique Qualities: I once hid my tears, viewing them as a weakness. Now, I see them as a strength—they allow me to connect deeply with my clients and express my true self.
From Body Discontent to Appreciation: Ever wished you were someone else, maybe faster, taller, or more talented? Instead of focusing on what I lack, I now celebrate my unique traits and talents, which has significantly boosted my self-esteem. Imagine a world where everyone looked the same, sang the same, was great at every sport and knew exactly how to make millions... I have to admit, life would probably be pretty boooring.
This attitude of gratitude has also positively impacted my family life, shifting my focus from what’s wrong to celebrating the strengths of my children and husband.
As Thanksgiving approaches, I think less about the Pilgrims and more about the power of gratitude. This Thanksgiving, let's truly appreciate everything from significant achievements to the simple daily joys. Let’s extend our celebration of thanks beyond just one day, enriching our relationships and our community. Let’s make this season a heartfelt celebration of gratitude, enhancing life for everyone.
If you are interested in relationship coaching, please contact Jola:
Email: hello@jolacruisecoaching.com
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