Essential Strategies for Nurturing Lifelong Partnerships
By: Jola Cruise
As a relationship coach, I've observed many couples in our community prioritize their children's activities at the expense of their marital health. While it's crucial to support our children's interests, a truly healthy family is built on the foundation of a strong partnership between spouses. Here are some essential skills and strategies that have not only helped others but have transformed my own marriage as well.
Maintaining Individuality and Nurturing Marriage
In my own marriage, maintaining individuality while nurturing our relationship became crucial, especially after we had children. Initially, I prioritized the kids and business over everything else, which gradually began to create an imbalance in my life. It wasn’t until I shifted my focus to prioritize my own happiness that I realized the importance of having my own hobbies and allowing my husband to do the same. We learned that we didn’t always have to like the same food or activities, but we did need to make time for just being ourselves and doing what we each love.
Prioritizing the Marital Relationship
After ensuring my own happiness, I learned to place my partner before the children, setting a powerful example for them. It demonstrates what a loving, respectful relationship looks like and creates a stable, balanced environment for the family. It's worth asking yourself: Would I want my children to have the marriage that I have? If you asked me a few years back it would be a definite NO. Now, definitely yes. My husband is my number one person who makes me laugh all the time. And this is what our children observe.
Distributing the Workload Evenly
In many households, the workload often falls unevenly on one partner. In my coaching practice, I emphasize the importance of open communication about responsibilities. I encourage letting go of control and allowing your spouse to manage tasks in their own way—even if it's not perfect. This helps distribute obligations more evenly, which is essential in today's fast-paced environment where managing everything single-handedly is nearly impossible.
Developing Essential Relationship Skills
Strong communication skills, effective conflict resolution strategies, and practicing mutual respect and appreciation daily are fundamental. These skills are vital not just for resolving current issues but also for preventing potential problems. When disagreements arise, my husband and I focus on resolving conflicts quickly and effectively. The key isn't to avoid fighting, but to recover and move forward swiftly. Adopting an attitude of gratitude is one of the most powerful skills I teach; it's hard to be resentful and grateful at the same time.
Approaching Marital Challenges for Long-term Success
Marriage, like any meaningful journey, requires ongoing effort and commitment. Applying relationship skills consistently is akin to maintaining fitness—you cannot achieve lasting health with sporadic effort. In our marriage, recognizing and addressing disagreements promptly ensures that issues don't fester, keeping our relationship healthy and vibrant. Remember, marriage requires effort, and if neglected, it will deteriorate. Think of it as tending a garden: it needs nutrients in the form of words of affirmation, gratitude, and laughter.
Celebrating Differences and Supporting Each Other
Acknowledging and appreciating each other’s contributions to the family fosters a deep sense of respect and understanding. I used to insist on my way or the highway, but now I respect my husband’s decisions on how to raise our children. The more I respect his choices, the more he leans into mine, ultimately fulfilling the kids' needs with balanced perspectives. After all, no one person is right all the time—flexibility and shared decision-making bring balance, which is crucial for family harmony.
By embracing these strategies, you can fortify your marriage and create a fulfilling family environment where everyone thrives.
If you are interested in relationship coaching, please contact Jola:
Email: hello@jolacruisecoaching.com
Complimentary Love Breakthrough Session: www.callwithjola.com
Facebook: jola.cruise